Highs and lows
I wish I had known and wish that others knew that depression isn’t just being low all the time.
I almost feel as though it would be easier if that was the case.
It’s hard because I have good days and then suddenly get sucker punched by a week thats unbearable. It feels as though I’m always waiting for the ball to drop. I can see the dark cloud looming in the distance and it makes enjoying the good difficult.
Others see me on my good days and they think that things must not be so bad.
But they are.
They don’t see the days spent in bed crippled by the inability to just get myself up. They don’t see the pillows stained with tears because I’ve cried for hours.
Sometimes the good days last a week, a month. Sometimes they don’t.
I’ve been on medication for two years now. Recently a new one was added into the mix. The medications don’t take the depression away. They mellow out the highs and the lows. The good days aren’t as good but that means that the bad days are not as bad.
The medication allows me to live my life. It helps me get out of bed each morning. It helps me fall asleep at night. More often than not, I am thankful for the medication. It gives me a break from the constant rollercoaster.
Until the next time ❤
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